Here's a list of foods that you should and you shouldn't eat, as well as some mixing guides
to get a healthy and wise baby. Remember you are what you eat!
First when they say Eat your veggies, they're not kidding! What they don't say is not
to eat your fruits. All your veggies promote healthy brain activity or increase muscle size and strength-Except Celery. If you are pregnant, don't even think about celery. It will cause strokes in baby.
Now your fruits are another story. Most of them cause a disease of some kind.
Grapes are the only fruit that you need when you are having a baby. Some
fruits have no bad effects but this list of everything will tell you what each fruit, veggie, vitamins, and minerals do.
Plums--Don't touch they cause MS or MD.
Peaches, Nectarines, and Apricots--They cause Breast Cancer.
Cherrys--They cause Colon Cancer. You can have them but make
sure you get some rhutabaga first.
Pears and Turnups--lead to hearing problems or deafness.
Mix well so that you can hear when you are 300 years old.
Olives--lead to brain problems or Brain Cancer.
Tobacco--Patience, but if you smoke eat that Apple everydady.
Phosphoric Acid--Found in most soda's causes ALL, that's Leukemia
when you are age 5-15. If you just can't live without your Coke, I know I can't, If you are like me and just can't put
the coke down or must eat that muffin in the morning, burn a candle at night, but
I don't know how much or how often and it will cause bone cancer....which is the opposite of leukemia so they cancel out. I'd
recommend that you don't drink the Coke until "they" figure out how much to cancel it out, but if you are like me, don't mix
the two and see if you get lucky, but since its still in your system the mix, get some alfredo sauce and some tea. that
should cancel and recover the mix troubles.
Raspberries--cause Vericose Veins, and they cancel hardening of
the arteries caused from mixing smoke, salt, and garlic on the same plate.
Black Berries--I don't know what they do, but you don't want them.
Blue Berries--They shorten your life span don't touch.
Palm Seed oil and Bananas--Palm seed oil will lead to Retinitas
or Detached Retinanas. Blindness and other eye problems are from many sources. The potassium in bananas can
cause blindness or decreased vision as you age. For evry serving of Palm, m Seed oil have a banana, so you can throw
away your glasses and canes as you age. I don't know if Palm Kernal Oil and Palm Seed Oil are the same. Modern
science can fix this with Technology or eye transplants. Actually its the potassium in the
bananas that hardens the retina. So if you are wearing glasses when you get old, thats why.
Honey and a clover (they look like green hearts with yellow heartt flowers--I
call them sour weed)--They go hand in hand but really why? I wouldn't waste my time with either of these. But
honey is in alot of things, makes it hard to pass up.
Poppy seeds and Honey Dew Melon--These go hand in hand as well.
Poppy seeds make your eye balls smaller and honey dew melon makes your eye balls bigger. If you go too small or too big, you
will have vision problems or even go blind. Modern science can fix these problems through eye transplants.
Corn Syrup and Figs--Cause lazy eyes and wandering eyes. Both are
fixable with eye transplants. When you get the right mix, you increase vision. You want to lean more toward the
corn syrup side of this. Corn syrup is in everything so keep an eye out for this so you know when you need some figs.
If you mix the two together you'll have another eye problem, so avoid products like fig newtons that use a corn syrup as a
sweetner. usually you can find in the organic isle some brand that uses a fruit paste to sweeten. This eye problem
can be fixed prenatal, but the exact mixes aren't a science yet.
Beta-Carotene and Thiaman--Causes
a problem with the Pituitary Gland and a problem with the Thyroid Gland. These two Thiaman and
Beta-Carotene go hand in hand affecting the Endocrine System. When mixed well on seperate days or separate meals they
can actually strengthen the system. For now though till further studies are done, a little of one one day and a little of
the other the next, by the pros affecting only one child, Stay Away from these. Together they cause skitsophrenia.
Don't touch Campbell's, Chef Boy R Dee, or Western Family. Progressive, and some Fred Meyer generics are good though.
Cinnamon and Ginger--One side causes Fibroid Tumors, the other
causes malignant tumors and cramping. Get the right mix and your daughters will be having kids when they are 100 after
grandma dies.
Almonds and Peacans--one side will put your boys in the grave and
the other side will leave them without orgasm. Get the right mix and he will be having kids at a hundred after
grandpa dies.
Riboflavin and Dioxybase--Causes problems with the Carpals, including
carpal tunnel syndrome. When well mixed can increase hand dexterity and hand strength.
Pantothenic Acid and Pyrodoxine--Causes problems with the Tarpals-that's
your feet, the most used muscles in the body. Like all the orange ones when mixed well can increase the strength
of the feet and reduce foot problems for ever.
I'm gonna try to get those water companies to fix their mix so that you can call it a cereal water. Cereals,
breads, flours...all have riboflavin and pantothenic acid in them, and thiamin. I'm gonna try to get those water compaies--you
know vitamin water, sobe, life water...to remove pantothenic acid, add beta carotene and put a label on their bottle--Pregnant
never drink without consultimg your doctor. do not consume in a three hour period before and after cereals, and breads.
whether they change or not, the label is coming. imagine the marketing scheme though when they do.
Ascorbic acid and Sorbic acid--Effects the metabolism. I
think that Ascorbic acid allows you to eat more and the other you don't need to eat as much. Who wants dessert?
Citric Acid--comes from oranges and causes senility.
Folic Acid--Comes from grapes and makes you wise in your old age. Mixing
these two, Citric Acid and Folic Acid, causes crazy old people.
Erythorbic Acid and Kerosene--Causes a problem with your abilty
to heal including the inability to use common less expensive drugs like Pennicilin. I'd lite the barbeque at least once
even if you don't drink Mountain Dew.
Monosodium Glutamate and Sodium Benzoate--Causes a problem with
urinary tract and including kidney stones, bladder infections, and urinary tract infections. I've got another one here
as well, but I'm gonna leave that to your obgyn to offer the fix to you. Keep track of how much you mix these.
The mix causes a prostate problem.
Aerosol--Causes a cone head. Not sure if it does anything
else but your not a gerber baby.
Milk--you got to have it. No other way to stop lactose intolerance.
Shellfish and bloody beef--allergies to shellfish or bunyons.
Get it right and you have long healthy toes. Maybe you're even a poet.
Apple--if you don't smoke, it will cause allergies. If you
smoke it will keep you from getting asthma.
Strawberries--This is where midget syndrome comes from. Eating
stawberries with muscle building foods. Corn, beef, pork, carrots, peas...you get the picture. Who wants to be
short anyway...but can be oh so much fun!
Sunflower seeds--If you want to be taller eat them up. Make
sure you you spit the shells or you will be crazy, a little hot headed, snap in an instant. I can tell the differance
between a shell and not just by seeing your head.
Carrots--build the thighs. How big do you want them?
When mixed with potatoes or rice the muscle will bunch up at the butt. When mixed with Peas the muscle will be
pulled down toward the calve. When mixed with beans, you will carry your fat in your thighs. They cause knee problems
when mixed with Peanuts.
Peas--build the Calves. How big do you want them? When
mixed with carrots the muscle is pulled up to the top of the calve. By them self the calve looks like all the peas in
the pod.
Peanuts--Make sure you get plenty of peas first.
Peanuts shrink the calve muscle, and they add a golden tone to your skin, which where all those beach bods get their tans.
If you shrink the muscle too much it can lead to MS or MD. Never mix with peanuts. Causes that disease where the
calves swell up, sometimes three to four times the muscle size and hurts so bad.
Potatoes--builds the muscle of the butt. Mix well with Beans,
rice, cabbage, pork, and beef to get the best size and shape.
Rice--builds the hips. Mix well with Beans, potatoes, cabbage,
pork, and beef to get the best size and shape.
Licorice--I know it's rice but I think it's potatoes too, careful
you can cause a wheel chair with too much licorice. Actually it shrinks the butt overall. Need to add some more
rice? more potatoes? or need some licorice and then later some more potatoes...ultrasound can help you shape that butt
up just right. Never mix with rice. oh and baby cries a little when pelvis shrinks. DO NOT EVEN TOUCH LICORICE
CANDY WRAPPERS WHILE EATING RICE.
Squash--Shrinks the size of the waist. Doesn't mix well with
corn. Mix well like rice for best appearance and strength.
Cucumbers--Mixes only with potatoes. Any other use will cause
lower back problems including a wheel chair.
Cabbage--You gotta have cabbage. I think the woman would
want about 3-4 pure cabbage egg rolls a week. The guys may want more but really you get what you get. Large enough
to serve, yet small enough for the personal attention you crave. Have one with your rice, one with your potatoes, and
one with your carrots. If you have another eat it with either squash or beans.
Pork--builds the muscle of the front torso. Doesn't mix well
with beef as it causes a hump back. Corn pulls it up to the shoulders, potatoes and rice pull it down to the waist.
Mix well for maximum strength.
Beef--Builds the muscle of the back torso. Mix in the same
fashion as pork for maximum strength and appearance.
Eggs--ladies how big do you really want them? I think two
to three eggs three times a week is perfect. Mix well though and don't eat them too fast. Pork and eggs one day,
beef and eggs another, and just eggs the third time. If you eat too fast and you will have firm strecth marked boobs,
and too slow you will have flabby boobs. Doesn't mix well with corn. And grab daddies balls once in a while.
I'm mean never drop the ball. Eat egg yolks.
Chicken and Turkey--Don't mix them. Chicken makes you beautiful
and Turkey makes you ugly. Together they give you black freckles they call beauty marks, and separate they make you
beautiful longer.
Caulaflower--Ladies, what is the ideal size for nipples?
The frequency affects the heigth and the amount affects the width.
Popcorn--builds the muscles of the forearm. Eat it really
fast for amazing stength with little mass.
Corn--Develops the arms and shoulders. Mix well with Pork
and Beef to maximize strength.
Bell Peppers-- affect your ability to feel the euphoria of Cocaine.
(But really who wants cocaine? Especially women, it stays in your ovaries for ever) as well as widening the lower jaw
and lower craniaum. Since it doesn't really affect anything but appearance, I'll give it a green.
Mango's and Peppermint--I said not to touch it but when you mix
peppermint with the fat of Mangos you get dimples and healthy faces and necks.
Watermelon and Hot Peppers--Affects the top of the head.
Hot peppers largen the width of the head and Watermelon shrinks it. Mix well and you look great. Some hot peppers
have a brain effect as well. I'm not sure if it's cayenne or jalepenos
that makes you bolder.
Garlic and Salt--Mix well to have a healthy heart till you are
300 years old.
Garlic and Salt--Mix well but never together. Together it
causes cholesterol problems. But it is unavoidable.
Wood, charcoal, cigarette smoke--Causes problems with thinning
of the blood. Since eating garlic and salt on the same plate is unavoidable. Hang out by the fire for a while
after the lighter fluid is gone.
Wheat--Thins the skin. You gotta have about two slices of
bread a day for perfect skin Never mix with real maple syrup.
Hops--causes Pancreatic cancer. That's in all beers.
Are you late and still drinking? Get some rabbit once you decided to stop drinking.
Chocolate and liver--are you worried about your child being allergic
cause you just couldn't stay away from chocolate? No worries. Eat some liver on a different day. Yes it
has to be a different day otherwise you have a rare skin disease that is terrible. Is Liverworst Liver?
Hmm?
If you want a power house with lots of bulk, pig out and eat lots. Eat more of the foods
you want the power from and eat them really fast to pack them in. Example: Suppose you want large bones and you
normally drink two glasses of milk with meals. Drink between meals three times a day two glasses of milk. This will
maximize the strength by packing it in and it will provide more bone building material to make them stronger.
If you want a power house with little bulk, pig out with the foods you want the power from. Eat
the same amount as you would normally, but eat it really fast and separate your foods every hour as you don't want them to
mix where you don't want them. Example: Suppose you normally drink a glass of milk with a meal twice a day and
you want average size bones. Drink a glass and a half of milk twice a day between meals instead and slam it.
It will increase the strength of the bones without increaseing the size of the bones.
I think that pretty well covers the body, now lets get into the brain. I want Genius
every time.
